What the hell!
by Azul-the-Kitsune
Summary: Guiltna learns never to listen to Kyoji... ever. Im sorry... I couldn't think of a title. Written in Septemberbefore there was a Vampire Doll section :P


Ha, once I thought of this I couldn't get it out of my head! It just sort of popped up, and I thought, "Lol, wtf! XD" I just bought volume one of Guilt Na the other day, and I love it. Sadly, it just came out this month, so volume 2 won't be out until December. It's very entertaining XD Can't wait for volume 2!

One shot... I guess you could call it yaoi... I refer to Guilt as being a guy, even though he's in his female form. Im not quite sure if you could call it romance or not though, what ever you want I guess.

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Guilt-na sighed with relief, dragging his worn broom behind him. It had been a long day of cleaning, but now he could finally relax without that damn exorcist bothering him. The whole house was now practically sparkling after the vampire's many hours of scrubbing and dusting tirelessly. If one were to search for hours, or even days, they would be unable to find a single speck of dust on any one of the household's objects. Now, the weight of the world seemed to suddenly sit upon the aristocrat's shoulders, making him languish to simply collapse into a deep sleep.

Wiping a few blonde strands of hair from his face, Guilt-na dumped the broom into it's proper place inside the closet, to tired to care about breaking it. Had there been a vacuum in the house, Guilt-na would have finished his work in a fraction of the time. Unfortunately for the 'King of Vampires', Kyoji never bought one, maybe because he was too cheap, but most likely because he simply enjoyed watching his little maid suffer. When Guilt-na noticed what outfit he was wearing, he should have taken that as sign of how life would be. After all, the pure black color of the dress gave the very essence of despair and melancholy.

As he was about to begin his journey up the stairs, Guilt-na realized how parched he was. His mouth and throat felt dry, as though ready to crack and shatter into millions of pieces at any moment. The whole day, Guilt-na had not taken a single break from his work, too engrossed to notice how long it had been since his last drink. Not wanting to delay sleep any longer, the vampire moved his tongue over his lips, hoping the saliva would do for now, but it helped very little. By the next morning, he would probably have shriveled up and died from dehydration. A sigh of annoyance escaped his lips as he turned, forcing himself to move one foot in front of the other until he reached the kitchen.

The door swung open. To the vampire's dismay, Kyoji stood at the counter, sipping a crystal clear liquid from a small glass. Ignoring his presence, Guilt-na opened the cupboard, removing a cup for himself. With a slight turn of his wrist around the faucet's handles, water filled the glass.

"All done with your cleaning Guilt-na-chan?" Kyoji smiled. The blonde continued to ignore the raven haired man, raising the glass to his dry lips and drinking. He had no intentions of acknowledging the exorcist, his desire was simple. Finish his water, then rest. However, Kyoji was not going to give up that easily. He wanted to make Guilt-na miserable, only for his own enjoyment. Stroking his chin and adjusting his glasses, the man's grin grew.

Kyoji lifted his glass above his head, then tossed it vigorously to the ground, shattering it into what seemed to be millions of tiny pieces. This certainly got the aristocrat's attention.

"What the hell did you do that for!" he yelled.

His grin broadening, Kyoji calmly replied, "Pick it up."

"Why! You're the one who threw it! I've been working all day, at least give me a break once in a while!" The blonde 'woman's cries of misery ended as Kyoji lifted a modestly sized platinum cross. Hypnotically, he waved over Guilt-na's head, slowly running the chain through his fingers. It danced back and forth, taunting him. Grumbling, the vampire bent over, picking up what shards of glass he could in his hands.

A bad move he should never have made. This gave Kyoji the full opportunity to do as he pleased, without the maid seeing the slightest hint of his next move. Kyoji had the vampire's world in his hands. He was the puppeteer, and Guilt-na was the puppet, moving as the puppeteer commanded, tied to invisible strings that forced him to obey. As the vampire would struggle to break free from the cruel man who manipulated him, the man would laugh, pulling yet another string. If there had been only a single chore Guilt-na should never have obeyed, it would have been bending over to clean.

Suddenly, the blonde felt something briefly seize his backside. It was a hard squeeze that stayed for a moment, then as quickly as it had come, departed. That was not the disturbing part. The disturbing part was what had grabbed him was Kyoji's hand.

"DID YOU JUST FUCKING GRAB MY ASS YOU SICK BASTARD!" screamed Guilt-na. Part of him believed Kyoji could _not_ have just done that, but the other part wasn't that stupid. As Guilt-na turned, he saw the exorcist was now grinning ear to ear. Did this mean the pervert not only liked his own younger sister and little girls, but he also was turned on by transsexual(1) male vampires trapped in the bodies of cute blonde girls? Freak.

"What ever do you mean?"

"You know what I mean! When I bent over you grabbed me!"

"I would never do that. Im not some freak who gets turned on by tranny vampire guys in girls' bodies." Kyoji replied smoothly, ending his sentence with a flirtatious wink, sending several shudders down the vampire's spine, and many disturbing images in his head. If only he had never bent over. If only.

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Yeah, I didn't know how to end it. I have no idea where this came from! It's my first humor fic in years (three I think... maybe more, maybe a little less) so please go easy on the criticism. I like it when people give me constructive criticism and suggestions, but please don't kill me.

Thanks for reading! Remember, I love reviews:)


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